There I Go Again ...

Nice and sunny day, a little cool. Supposed to get downright cold later tonight.

Speaking of cold, I have this little problem. Being cold, that is. I like to think of it as being frank, but I have been told more than once (twice, three times ... a jerk-off) that I am too blunt. I tell myself that you're supposed to "say what you mean, and mean what you say," but that's really just a cover story. Truth is (OK, be careful ...), I like telling it like it is. It's refreshing to just get it out there, and be done with it. But unasked for, it's rarely appreciated, if ever.

You need tact in dealing with people, especially involving their feelings (OK, just figuring this out?). And I suck at it. There, that's more like it. I feel better: "I suck." Yeah, that's blunt.

You can be blunt about yourself, of course, and do no damage. You might even get a laugh or two. But you can't be that way about other people and expect no repercussions. When you hurt feelings by something you do (mistake, misdeed, etc.), people may eventually get over it. But words cut to the quick; they impact our consciousness more completely. Deeds must be interpreted ("Did he really mean to do that? What for?"), but words, especially from someone who's a little too good with them, go much more directly to one's inner being. They can be downright traumatic. It's been said a child can be abused just as badly by hateful words as by an angry fist. The bruises may heal, but scars to the mind are indelible. They last forever.

You've got to be careful talking, or writing, to people. Hold your fire, think things through first. If you must speak, ease your way into it. Because once you fire that mouth cannon, you can't take back the shell. How I wish I could truly learn this, once and for all.

An English writer named E.V. Lucas has written: "The art of life is to show your hand. There is no diplomacy like candor. You may lose by it now and then, but it will be a loss well gained if you do. Nothing is so boring as having to keep up a deception." The difference between mercurius_21's mouth history and Lucas's recommendation is that your hand must be called, before you're allowed to show it.*

___
*As best I can recall, the original version of this post went on to announce this journal was finished. Of course, it wasn't. The next post left that possibility open.


LJ orig.: 01/25/07