Warmer today,
then clouds rolling in, much warmer and drizzling.
The reason I try to start with the weather is that weather
affects moods. It can really swing you around, or it can be quite
subtle. But weather changes do affect our emotional states and mental
outlooks. If you read some of my archive, you'll spot some of my own
meteorological mood swings.
(Watched pro
football late afternoon and evening, and really enjoyed it. But I was
rooting for New England because I wanted to see a traditional match-up
for the Super Bowl and was disappointed. That may have more to do with a
downbeat mood now than just the rain coming in. In other words, many
factors influence mood, not just weather.)
I think a case could be made for anger, but really, I think
envy is worse. I don't necessarily mean in a "seven deadly sins" kind of
way (a new commercial for a phone that flips into a handheld computer
uses the seven deadly sins to hilarious effect), but in terms of how you
feel about yourself and how you relate to the world around you.
Anger is bad, no doubt about it, and trying not to get angry
in This Modern World is almost like trying not to think of a cow (mine's
always Holstein, for some reason). Envy is much worse these days, in my
opinion, because so much energy is directed toward it, and it's a
complete waste of human potential. How so? If you are going around
envious all the time, or even some of the time, you are directing your
attention away from what you already possess, and toward what you don't.
This is bad, because you may possess finer things in reality than the
object of your envy does but not realize it. Worse, you may be ignoring
potential value in what you already have that you could be developing,
instead of chasing after something or someone that you think you want.
And worst (I think), you may become consumed with creating envy in the
eyes of others, that is, making yourself the object of others' envy as
much as possible. At that point, you've become another Paris Hilton. (At
least, that's Ms Hilton's image in the public eye. She may have other
motives that are better, but if so, she seems to be good at hiding
them.)
What's wrong with becoming the object of
everyone's envy -- or at least trying to? If you take my aforementioned
premise regarding intrinsic value, you can see why. Working to become
the object of envy not only ignores intrinsic value (in other words,
value that you already possess), it destroys it. You have become so
shallow and obsessed with others' opinions at that point, you have
nothing else to offer anyone. You can only offer whatever you can think
of that will promote envy. Usually, those are only appearances.
I am guilty. OK, when I'm walking downtown, I always stop and
look at the latest Carreras and Kompressors parked on the street. I
don't just look, my head whips and, as I stare while walking slowly
past, I imagine what it must be like to be able to get in one and turn
the key (legally, of course). Then, I realize I could never (as far as I
know) even afford the insurance on a car like that, much less the
payments and maintenance (the latter, by the way, is steep). I'm getting
better: I actually envied a late-model (but newer, nicer color and trim
line) of the modest compact sedan I own now. That was as late as last
week!
I used to envy other guys' girlfriends. That
was when I was a lot younger. I don't now. I love to look at beautiful
women (who doesn't?), but I guess age has taken away that envy edge for
good. So, I can't claim the "getting better" on that score, just the
"getting older."
(mercurius_21 is a little self-deceptive on this issue: he's
merely wistfully envious, at this point in life. Also, he refuses to
admit his own computer envy: that's why he found the commercial
mentioned above so funny.)
But just because I'm as guilty as anyone doesn't negate my
point. I think it makes it all the more true, in fact. There clearly is
no point in envying anyone's anything. What you already have, or may
possess right around the corner, may be better -- better for you or just
better, period. To me, self-respect is the "greatest love of all"
(there's a gospel version of the song out there that predates Whitney's
by some years -- I heard it on the radio on a business trip circa 1986).
The very modest amount of self-respect I've managed to acquire (largely
through adversity, by the way) leads me to assure you it is the most
valuable thing you can possibly possess. It's hard to describe
self-respect -- it is related to confidence, but that's not it, really.
It's not self-love, in the typical egocentric definition, anyway. And
it's not obviously not pride, which is (we're told) the deadliest sin of
the seven. But I can tell you how to begin acquiring this most valuable
of possessions: you cannot earn respect until you give it. Until you
begin to respect others, you will get no respect for yourself. The more
you respect abstract virtues like love and compassion in others, the
more you will respect them in yourself. The more you respect what's good
in its own right, the more you will respect your own essential
goodness.
The key that unlocks this treasure
trove? Ask yourself this: How can any of us say we own any of these
things? If we are endowed with our very lives, then we own nothing at
all.
___
*The “gospel” version mercurius-21
mentions is actually by jazz great George Benson. I heard it listening
to a small gospel radio station in Midlands South Carolina on his way to
Myrtle Beach at the time mentioned, but I did not hear the announcer
credit the singer. I ran across the actual credit last year.
LJ orig.: 01/21/07
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